


I got you

by MoonymyLove



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Artist Clarke, F/M, Friendship, Hook-Up, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Self-Discovery, Slow Burn, Teacher Bellamy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-01-15 20:35:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12328416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonymyLove/pseuds/MoonymyLove
Summary: Ever wonder what if when it comes to your childhood crush? Clarke's always wondered that about Bellamy Blake.Back in Arkadia visiting for the first time in 3years, Clarke encounters her childhood crush, Bellamy Blake. Only problem, he already has a girlfriend.





	1. Welcome Back

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything The 100; just the fanfic I write.
> 
> Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Miller, Lincoln and Wells are 26 going on 27.  
> Monty, Jasper, Octavia, Monroe and Harper are 24.
> 
> Enjoy!

[Image]

_ Finally Landed. 2 days later.  _

Clarke posted the image to her Instagram story and pocketed her phone as she took in Arkadia’s summer sun. Following the line of people entering the airport building she suddenly felt nervous. Having been away from Arkadia for so long and not having seen her friends and family in over three years, she wasn't sure what to expect. Her phone chimed a notification. Instagram.

**Bellamy Blake** _Welcome._

Clarke froze. _Bellamy?_ Sure they liked each other’s posts every once in a while. Ok maybe she liked all his posts and his sister’s as well. But Clarke hasn’t seen or heard from Bellamy in over seven years, and here he is welcoming her home. She smiled.

**Clarke Griffin** _Thanks. But I think you mean ‘Welcome Back’?_

**Bellamy Blake** _My apologies Princess, welcome back. Have a safe trip?_

Clarke snorted. He knew she had a safe trip, she posted every hour of her trip she wasn’t in the air (especially the eight hour layover she had). Clarke had noticed that Bellamy was watching her story on Instagram along with her other followers, which made her feel slightly giddy.

**Clarke Griffin** _Yes I did. So happy to be home. Are you in Arkadia right now?_

Clarke reached customs and handed over her passport and landing card.

“Thank you,” the officer said going through her information and scanning her passport. “You have dual citizenship?”

“Yes I do.”

“You’re just visiting Arkadia I take it?”

“Yes, for about a month.”

“Ok. Enjoy your visit.”

“Thank you.” Taking her passport Clarke walked over to the luggage carousal.

**Bellamy Blake** _Yes._

**Clarke Griffin** _That’s great. We should meet up, for the first time in like...7years?_

**Bellamy Blake** _We should. 555-528-491_

**Clarke Griffin** _Once I’m on the grid I’ll text you._

**Bellamy Blake** _Awesome._

_Bellamy Blake, huh_. Clarke and Bellamy had a very complicated relationship, so to speak. Clarke still kept in touch with all her friends from Arkadia, Bellamy was the exception. Childhood friends and crushes who lost contact after she left Arkadia. Her feelings for him forcing her to distance herself from him. That and his model girlfriend, Gina Martin. Clarke rolled her eyes as she picked up her luggage and starting wheeling it to the exit. _If only._

“Clarke!!!”

Clarke was bombarded in a group hug. Her best friend Raven Reyes along with their friends Monty Green and Jasper Jordan. Laughing she hugged them all back.

“Hi guys! I love you, but can I get a minute to catch my breath?”

“Sorry Clarke, we missed you,” Monty smiled pulling away sheepishly.

“I can’t believe it’s been three years, you wound me,” Jasper joked.

“Come on, you can come visit me in Polis too.”

“It’s not the same C, you know that,” Raven rolled her eyes. “Boys, grab her shit. We have a party to get to.”

“Party? Please don’t tell me...”

“It’s small don’t worry Clarke, everyone missed you,” Monty smiled taking her hand luggage as Jasper grabbed her big suitcase.

*

“Clarke you remember my cousin Miller,” Raven said introducing her to a guy wearing a beanie and a frown on his face. “Miller, Clarke.”

“Hey.”

“Hey, didn’t we used to carpool in elementary school?” Clarke asked.

“Oh yea, yea we did,” he replied still frowning.

“God Miller, lighten up,” Raven shoved him. “Go grab a drink or something you dweeb.”

Miller rolled his eyes at Raven and walked over to the kitchen island. Monty smiled at him and handed him a beer.

“Sorry about him, he just broke up with his boyfriend, he’s...I don’t know what he is,” Raven said turning back to Clarke.

“That’s ok. He wasn’t much a talker from what I remember anyway,” Clarke shrugged looking around the apartment.

Monty had been right, it was only a small gathering of people; most of whom were already tipsy by the time they got there. Harper and Zoe were chatting with Jasper and Maya on the couch. Clarke thought it was great everyone still kept in touch. Jas and Monty were inseparable and so were Harper and Zoe; having all attended the same college and now being roommates. There was a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it!” Jasper yelled jumping up and running for the door. “Wells my man, how are you dude?”

Clarke perked up. Wells entered laughing at Jasper as they hugged. He looked tired, but happy and that’s what mattered to Clarke. Everyone yelled out hellos to him and he waved in greeting. He scanned the room and when his eyes landed on Clarke she felt tears form in her eyes. He grinned.

“Clarke.”

Clarke isn't sure who went to who but she was in Wells’ arms in an instant.

“Hey,” she said pulling back and looking him over. “Look at you. I missed you.”

“I missed you too. It’s good to see you.”

“Where’s my nephew?”

Wells laughed and pulled her into another hug. She smiled into his shoulder. “He’s home with Luna, asleep I assume. She’s sorry she couldn’t make it, but you’ll meet him tomorrow, I promise.”

“We barely see him Clarke, this is a luxury,” Raven quipped hugging Wells. “Jaha, how’s it hanging?”

“I’m good Raven, you?” “Not too bad. Come on, have a drink, and don’t give me the I’m driving look, one drink.”

As Raven pulled Wells toward Monty and Miller Clarke yawned pulling out her phone. 20:37, shit I’m tired. Glancing at everyone she snuck out to the fire escape and sat on the top step. The sun was just setting and Clarke itched to paint the colours that swam across the sky. Yellow meets orange, which meets pink, and in turn that meets pure and blue. Gorgeous.

“Hey you.”

Turning Clarke sees Wells come out to join her. “I guess you’re pretty tired. Sorry we bombarded you with this party. I actually told Raven to do something tomorrow, but you know her. And with Jasper and Monty involved...”

“No, I love it. I shouldn’t sleep too early anyway. Jetlag.” Wells nodded and took a sip of his beer.

“I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“It’s a bit weird being here. I can’t explain it, it feels good don’t get me wrong; but...I don't know...”

“It’s not your home anymore.”

Clarke looked over at him and he smiled at her sadly. Wells always knew what to say. Leaning onto his shoulder she looked out at the sunset again. “It’ll always be home with you guys here.” Wells laughed.

“Good.”

*


	2. Happiness?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke catches up with her friends, has a heart to heart with Wells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I was meant to post on Tuesday, I got super busy.  
> Enjoy!

 

The next morning Clarke rolled over right into a sleeping Raven. Glancing around she saw she was still in her clothes from the day before. _Urgh gross._ Her phone read _07:37_ as she got up to grab her suitcase. Monty was sprawled on his back on the couch, cuddled by Harper and Zoe. Jasper and his girlfriend, Maya, were cuddled in a bundle on the floor. Smiling Clarke quietly grabbed her suitcase. When she returned Raven was putting her phone down as she rolled over cuddling back into her covers.

“Go back to bed.”

“Rae, I need to shower, I still have my 2 day travel stink on me.”

“That’s what that smell was.” Raven laughed as she looked over at Clarke. 

“Haha. I can’t believe you guys wouldn’t let me shower last night.”

“You didn’t need it,” Raven shot back as she lay on her bed watching Clarke go through her suitcase. “You enjoy the party?”

“It was nice seeing everyone. I can’t believe Jas has a girlfriend, she seems really nice.”

“We were all pretty shocked, but when you see them together you get it. It’s disgusting,” rolling her eyes to hide her smile. “What are we up to today anyway? Sleeping some more right hmm?”

“Ha no. We’ll grab breakfast and then I’ll head over to Wells and Luna’s. After that you can sleep all you want,” Clarke closed her suitcase and walked over to the bathroom. “Get the rest of the pack up.”

Slamming the bathroom door behind her she heard Raven groan and slam a pillow. “Only because I love you and because you have jetlag. If it were any other day I wouldn’t be up before noon.” 

“Love you too Rae.”

Raven’s bedroom door opened and Clarke laughed as she heard her hustle everyone awake. 

*

“Hold up! You guys ran away and hid from Mrs Kane on the football field?” Jasper laughed stealing some fries off Maya’s plate, she then slid her plate over to him with a smile. 

“She was so airy fairy, we couldn’t deal with that shit,” Raven rolled her eyes. “Besides, I’m sure she wasn't in the mood to deal with us eighth graders either; she would’ve just put on another one of her nature documentaries.”

“She’s not so bad Rae. She’s let up on the documentaries.”

“Easy for you to say Clarke, she’s your grandma now. That’s just fucked.”

Clarke’s mother ended up marrying her eighth grade teachers son, Markus Kane, two years after the football field incident; which was also two years after her father died in a car accident. Abigail Griffin, a Senator at the time was chosen to be an Ambassador for Arkadia in Polis and as a result Clarke has been in Polis for the past 11years. 

“She’s just Vera now, it'd be weird to call her grandma,” Clarke rolled her eyes. “Anyway, yes Jas we ditched her and ran away to hang out on the football field.” 

“You didn’t get into trouble?” Maya asked looking concerned. 

“Fuck no. What are they gonna do, give our whole class detention? No, she found us on the football field and she taught us about the plants surrounding us right there. We were supposed to have English that period.”

“That’s brilliant,” Monty grinned. “I wish we had her when we were in eighth grade, we had Cage Wallace.”

“Monty you’re such a nerd,” Jasper ruffled his best friends hair. “Cage was an idiot, he never knew what he was doing. He only got the job cause his dad was on the Board and Pike is like his uncle or godfather or some shit.”

  
“It was pretty cool when Octavia blew up the Chem lab when we were supposed to be dissecting frogs for bio,” Harper laughed. “Who blows up the Chem lab while dissecting frogs? It takes skill I tell you.” 

“What really?” Clarke laughed. Raven’s phone rang and she got up to answer it. 

“Oh yea, it happened the year you left Clarke...Bellamy flipped out. Octavia was grounded for the rest of the year,” Zoe put in then sighed. “That was the year Aurora past away.”

“Right.”

The group sat solemnly for a second. Their thoughts falling on the Blake siblings. Octavia and Bellamy Blake were always on the outskirts of the group. Both getting into their private school on scholarships, and Bellamy keeping Octavia in line and out of trouble from what Clarke heard over the years. Their mother, a sweet and kind woman, did all she could for them but Cancer took her and it was up to Bellamy to take care of his sister from then on. Their foster mother, Indra Trikra, really helped Bellamy with Octavia and as a result Octavia is now a personal trainer at her gym she owns with her fiancé Lincoln Woods. 

“Speaking of, did you know Octavia is pregnant Clarke?” Monty asked smiling brightly.

“Yes. I feel so old, she's engaged and pregnant; and Wells and Luna have baby Jackson and are also engaged.”

“Ugh please don’t start C, we’re young and free. Live it up,” Raven said coming back to the booth. “Come on gang let’s head out.”

“Who was on the phone Rae.”

“No one.”

Clarke shared a look with Monty raising her eyebrows. He shrugged and turned to Jasper.

“Probably Kyle,” Jasper said as he took the last few sips of his milkshake. Raven hit his shoulder and walked to the counter to pay. “Ow! That’s gonna bruise.”

“Who's Kyle?”

“Kyle Wick. He's another engineer at the plant Raven, Monty and Jas work at,” Harper said. “He’s totally in love with her.”

“I’m pretty sure they’re fucking.”

“Jasper really! Let the woman have some privacy,” his girlfriend chastised shoving him out of the booth.

Clarke laughed at his sheepish expression and followed the gang out the door.

*

Later in the day Clarke was getting settled into her room at Wells’ place after having spent the afternoon playing with her nephew. Smiling she unpacked her paints and sketchbook and lay it out on the desk in the room. Technically it was baby Jackson’s room, but he’d taken to sleeping in his parents room. Clarke smiled at the photo of her and baby Jackson from when they came to visit her in Polis 6 months ago. 

Her phone chimed.

**Bellamy Blake**   _Hey! I’m gonna be out of town for a few days this week. But once I’m back I should be free._

Before dropping Clarke at Wells’ Raven made sure that her cell provider was working in Arkadia so she could text. Clarke’s first text had been to Bellamy.

**Clarke Griffin**   _Ok great. Just let me know._

**Bellamy Blake** _Does next weekend work?_

**Clarke Griffin** _Yes that"s perfect._

**Bellamy Blake** _Awesome! See you then Princess._

“Hey Clarke, I was just gonna bath Jackson you wanna come help,” Wells stood at the entrance of her bedroom door with baby Jackson in his arms. 

“Of course,” reaching out to playing with her nephew's cheeks. “Who’s ready for a bath?”

Jackson smiled and hid his face in his father’s neck, peeking out at Clarke. She continued to make faces and sounds at him as Wells watched on fondly. Luna called them from the master bedroom saying the bath was ready. 

“Come on Jackson baby, come to aunty, we’re gonna have a bath, yes we are” Clarke took her nephew and he giggled as she blew bubbles on his tummy. 

Much later once the baby was sleeping, Clarke sat on the couch with a glass of wine chatting to her best friend.

“I still can’t believe we’re here.”

“What do you mean, here in Arkadia?”

“No, here in life,” Clarke sighed. “You’re getting married, I mean you already have a baby. We’re just growing up so fast.”

Wells sits, thinking. “Are you happy Clarke?”

Clarke hand coming up for a drink still. Looking over at him she smiles and nod. “I’m content.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“We can’t all have the perfect life Wells. Besides, I still have so much more life to live. It’ll happen.”

“It being...?” Wells questioned. “Happiness?”

Clarke laughed. “Wells you're such a sap. I’m happy, you don’t have to worry about me. I have a job at an art gallery that I love, _and_ I’m also _doing_ art.”

“If you say so, just...I’m here.”

“I know.”

Clarke gets up and gives him a kiss. “Night Wells. Love you.”

"Love you Griffin."

Lying in bed Clarke contemplates her conversation with Wells. Going through some of the pictures she took of her nephew she's overwhelmed with love for him; and for Wells and Luna.

[Image]

Liked by **BellsBlake** , **MontyG** , **JassyJ** and **103** **others**  

**ClarkeGriffinARTist** Current love of my life. #nephew #godson #baby #family

**WellsJaha** <3

**RaeReyes** So cute, it’s disgusting. 

**MontyG** He looks in love too.

**JassyJ** Can I keep him?

**WellsJaha** @JassyJ No! Stay away. Also @RaeReyes really?

Clarke smiles at her phone turning to switch off the bedside lamp. _I am happy._

**Clarke Griffin** _See you then Bell._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...no Bellamy just yet. Next chapter. Sorry.  
> I'm not so are about this chapter, but we'll see.  
> Also, this story is as much Bellarke as it is about Clarke finding herself as well. From her heart to heart with Wells it seeps in a little bit. 
> 
> \- MoonymyLove


	3. This is so awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. Apologies for the long wait.

**Bellamy Blake**

_Hey!_

_S_ _o what’s the move_?

**Clarke Griffin**

_The move? You mean us meeting up?_

**Bellamy Blake**

_Yes Princess *eye roll*_

**Clarke Griffin**

_You know there are such things as emoji’s right?_

_I’m available this weekend, we could grab lunch or a drink. Saturday work?_

**Bellamy Blake**

_I much prefer to type it out, no way of misunderstanding me._

_Yea Saturday works. You got transport, or shall I pick you up?_

**Clarke Griffin**

_Ok old man._

_I could make a plan for transport, could get Well’s car. But I wouldn’t mind a ride._

**Bellamy Blake**

_You don’t have to make a plan. Just send me your location and I’ll pick you up._

_Where were you thinking we should go?_

**Clarke Griffin**

_Cool thanks._

_Lol I don't know...I haven’t been here in forever, so I have no idea what’s new and what’s old._

**Bellamy Blake**

_Ok we’ll decide when I pick you up._

_See you Princess._

**Clarke Griffin**

_Sounds good. See you then *smiley face*_

**Bellamy Blake**  

_Shut up._

_*smiley face*_

Clarke smiled as she set her phone aside and continued her piece of her nephew. The last week in Arkadia had been filled with hang outs with friends and family; but especially one on one time with her one and only, Jackson. Being back in Arkadia made her realise how alone she feels in Polis; all her friends have their careers and families (Wells and Luna), and she only has her art. 

“Wow Clarke that’s beautiful.”

Luna entered her room with a cup of coffee. Clarke flushed and thanked her. “It’s a rough layout, I still have to outline his eyes and hairline more, and then actually start painting it.”

“We’ll put it up in the hallway, at the entrance.”

Clarke loves Luna, she’s a free spirit who helped Wells come out of his shell. Her caring nature and soft manner is what drew Wells to her, but it’s her feistiness that made him fall in love with her. Clarke knew from the beginning that they would be a great match when she met her 3 years ago.

“Jax sleeping?”

“Yes, finally went down for his nap,” Luna laughed. “He fought for about a minute or two, but he couldn’t hold on any longer.”

“He’s getting old now, he needs to realise naps come with old age.”

Luna laughed. “Clarke only you would equate turning one and having to take naps to old age.”

Clarke shrugged. Her phone rang and with a quick apology to Luna she picked it up. Luna slipped out for the room after a loving look at the drawing of Jackson.

_“Hey bitch! You still down for tonight?”_

“Hi Raven, how’re you doing? Good, I’m doing great myself thanks for asking.”

_“Urgh, cut the bullshit C. I spoke to you this morning. Anyway, you still coming to the Wine tasting thing at Grounders tonight?”_ Clarke could feel Raven’s eye roll radiate through the phone as she herself rolled her eyes.

“First all, you texted me in the same fashion this morning, still didn’t ask how I’m doing. Second of all, I already said yes to going, why’re you asking again?”

_“Whatever. I just wanted to double check, you like to bail last minute. So, I’ll pick you up after work, we’ll head to my place-remember to pack an overnight-we’ll get ready, go for dinner then drink the night away.”_

“Raven, I'm not gonna bail; you know how I feel about wine. I’ve packed my bag, I'm ready to go when you’re off.”

_“Great! See you then bitch!”_

Clarke clicked off the phone and sighed at Raven’s antics. She wasn’t wrong, Clarke did tend to bail when she was in the middle of a really difficult piece or if she wasn’t feeling up to going anywhere. But, tonight Clarke was excited to hang out with her best friend, it’s not everyday she gets to see her. 

*

_Work, work, work_  
_But you gotta put in work, work, work, work_  
 _Work, work, work_  
 _You don't gotta go to work, work, work, work_

Clarke laughed as Raven sang along to Fifth Harmony’s _Work_. The music was blasting, windows open and Clarke stuck her hand out to feel the night breeze. The song changed to some Bieber some and Raven turned it down.

“So?”

“So...?”Clarke frowned at her, when Raven just looked at her she sighed. “What?”

“Come on Clarke, I didn't ask you at dinner cause I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable,” Raven sighed. “Have you spoken to Bellamy yet?”

“Sure you didn’t wanna make me feel uncomfortable,” Clarke rolled her eyes. “As a matter of fact, we’re meeting tomorrow for lunch or something.”

Luckily they were at a red light or Raven would’ve stopped the car in the middle of the street. She turned to Clarke, her eyes wide.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Raven yelled. “You’re going on a date with Bellamy.”

“No, I’m meeting up with Bellamy to catch up,” Clarke corrected. “Raven you’ve met Gina right, you know, his girlfriend.”

“Whatever, they’re so not happy together.”

Raven hit the gas and they were off again. Clarke was aching to ask her what she meant, but didn’t want to seem too eager. Clarke wasn’t privy to any information on Bellamy other than what was posted on social media. Raven didn’t let Clarke off that easy though.

“So, where are guys going? What are you doing?”

“I told you, lunch or...something. We said we’d decide when he picks me up.”

“Oh my God! This is so a date, he's picking you up and everything,” Raven grinned pointing her finger at Clarke accusingly. “It’s finally happening!”

“Rae, come on,” Clarke said in exasperation. Raven saw the warning in her friends eyes and sighed.

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m not saying I agree with you, but I’ll stop bugging you about it,” Raven smirked. Clarke shook her head at her best friend and accepted the stalemate. “Is that...oh my God. No way!”

Clarke looked around and it seemed they’d reached their destination by the look of all the cars parked along the street. Raven was looking ahead at two guys walking and honked her horn. They jumped and both turned to look behind them. Clarke recognised Miller but couldn't make out who he was with. As Raven pulled up next to them she finally saw him in full. Bellamy Blake. 

“Cuz! What’s up?” Miller greeted when Raven brought down her window, he looked into the car and smiled, glancing at Bellamy. “Hey Clarke.”

Clarke held her composure as she saw Bellamy bend down to look into the car as well. She smiled and waved at them both. 

“Hey guys.”

“Is it pretty packed for parking already?” Raven ask her cousin as Clarke tried to compose herself at the sight of Bellamy smiling over at her. “We’re gonna drive a little ahead and see.”

“I’m not so sure Rae, you might not find a spot down there,” Miller looked sceptical.

“Try me.”

Raven rolled up her window and drove on. “Oh my God. I can’t believe it, did you see him?”

Up ahead a car pulled out of a spot and Raven snuck in behind them. Clarke glanced back and saw Bellamy and Miller continue their walk.

“Rae, I’m not prepared for this,” Clarke said as Raven pulled into the parking spot.

“I told him I’d get one,” Raven smirked and looked over at Clarke. “Wait...what do you mean?”

“I haven’t seen him in like...6 or 7 years...I don’t even know,” Clarke exclaimed. “Urgh, I’m like the most awkward person ever.”

“Clarke calm down. You were gonna be alone with him tomorrow anyway, what’s the problem?”

“I hadn’t _seen_ him yet. I wasn’t prepared for how I'd feel.”

“Oh.”

Clarke nodded. Raven knew all about Clarke’s feelings for Bellamy, from the tender age of 10years old. Clarke moving away to Polis when they were in sophomore year ended any hope Clarke ever had of dating Bellamy, or of seeing if anything could happen with him. Seeing him now, Clarke realises maybe her feelings for him aren't completely gone.

“Ok look. You’re not gonna be alone with him; Miller and I will be there too. Besides, who says we have to hang out with them at all, right?” Rave smiled. “Now, we should probably get out cause they’re waiting for us at the end of the street.”

Clarke looked over and saw them standing under the street light, hands in their pockets. “Ok, let’s do this.”

“Wait fix your lipstick.”

“Seriously?” Clarke groaned. 

“Fine, fine. Let’s go.”

Clarke and Raven walked towards the boys, they smiled when they saw them approaching. Miller walked forward and hugged his cousin, which she returned with a light punch in the stomach. She did the same to Bellamy, who swerved out of the way in time. 

“Almost Reyes, but not quite there,” Bellamy grinned. “Hey Princess.”

Clarke smiled and met Bellamy in a hug. It felt good, safe. Too soon he let go and stepped back. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Clarke tried to joke and she smiled over at Miller. He nodded and him and Raven led the way down to the event. Which left Bellamy to fall into step next to her. Raven and Miller walked ahead and chatted about work, school and family. Clarke and Bellamy exchanged a few glances and smiles at each other every once in a while.

“Are you coming to my birthday next week loser?” Raven asked Miller up ahead, hip checking him.

“Rae, in what universe would I miss it,” Miller shot back as he started walking backwards. “Yo Blake, you’re coming too right.”

“Huh? Uh...yea,” Bellamy replied clearing his throat. Clarke looked over and he flushed a little turning to look at oncoming traffic. 

_This is so awkward_. Clarke sighed. _It is to be expected, what is there to talk about?_ Bellamy caught up to Miller as he walked ahead and Raven slowed to link arms with Clarke.

“What the hell Griffin?” 

“What?” 

“You guys barely said anything to each other,” Raven shot out. “What’s going on?”

“Well, I don’t know what’s up with him, but I’m nervous. What the fuck?” Clarke frowned. “Maybe he realised he doesn’t actually like me as a person.”

“Clarke don’t be dumb.”

“Rae, you guys coming or what?” Miller called from the entrance. Bellamy was busy paying for his cover to get in and getting his stamp. 

“Coming!”Raven yelled back at him before tuning to Clarke. “Let’s do this, we’ll head in and grab a drink ok. That’ll calm your nerves and loosen up that tongue of yours.”

Clarke didn’t get to reply because Raven ran ahead and met Miller and Bellamy at the entrance. She pulled out her money but Miller shook his head. “Hey C, the boys paid for us. Come get your stamp.”

Clarke smiled at Miller as she got her stamp. “Thanks Miller.”

“Not me, Bellamy actually paid for you guys,” Miller shook his head and jerked it towards Bellamy. Turning to Bellamy Clarke smiled. “Thanks Bell.”

“No problem,” Bellamy replied grinned sheepishly and took the lead inside and the others followed.

Raven pulled Clarke towards the opposite direction Bellamy was leading. “We’ll catch up with you guys, we’re gonna explore the Italian wine.”

Clarke didn’t get to hear or see their response as Raven lead her to a table to purchase a wine glass for the evening. 

“Ok Griffin, you need to get some wine in you.”

*

Much later, Clarke and Raven are sitting on a couch chatting, on their third glass of wine. Clarke had avoided Bellamy for most of the night, only catching glimpses of him every once in a while as him and Miller weaved through the crowd to get wine or head to the washroom. However, for the last 20minutes Bellamy and Miller had been standing in the doorway with a group of their friends. Clarke’s back was to them but she was on high alert for everything Bellamy. Hearing his laugh she can’t help but glance over there. His back is to her as his hand rests on Miller’s shoulder as they all laugh. 

“Clarke!”

“Huh! What?” Clarke snaps her had back to Raven, feigning nonchalance. 

“Stop sneaking looks, you’re a little obvious,” Raven scolded. “Especially with your drooling.”

“Shut up, I'm not drooling,” but Clarke still wipes at her chin. “I hate you.”

“Clarke! Raven!”

Monty is running towards them and he collapses on top of Clarke from behind. “I didn't know you guys were coming too. I would’ve gotten a ride.”

Monty is a little past drunk with the way he's slurring his words. Clarke turns around to face him. “Hey Mon, you good?”

“Clarke, Clarke you’re so beautiful. I love you,” Monty kisses her and rests his head on her shoulder. 

Clarke can't help but laugh, when she looks up Bellamy is looking at her and Monty with a frown on his face. “Monty, I think you need to get some water. I’ll be back Rae.”

Getting up and easing Monty onto Raven Clarke gets up and goes to the bar. She senses him before she see’s him. His presence is overpowering on her side. 

“Monty tipsy?” 

“I’d say he’s a little more than tipsy,” she laughs and turns to Bellamy. “He’s a little far gone, but once I drown him in water he’ll sober up in no time.”

The bartender comes over. “Water please.”

As the bartender gets the water for her she turns to Bellamy. “Where’s Gina? I thought she’d be out with you guys.”

“She’s...she’s out of town,” he replies, his face unreadable, he turns to look as the bartender sets the water down.

“Thanks,” Clarke says and the bartender nods, she turns back to Bellamy. “I should probably have gotten myself one too.”

“You were always a lightweight.”

“I was sixteen, of course I was a lightweight,” Clarke protests half-heartedly. “Besides, I could probably drink you under the table now.”

“Sure you can Princess, I’ll believe that when I see it,” Bellamy countered with a smirk. 

“Clarke _is_ a Princess isn’t she? She’s so pretty.” They reached Monty and Raven, Miller had joined them with a few of their friends standing around. “Clarke is that another drink? Girl you’re getting wasted tonight?”

Raven laughed taking the water from Clarke. “The only person wasted is you Monty. Drink up.”

Miller sat down and put a supporting had on Monty’s shoulder, helping him drink. Clarke raised her eyebrows at Raven and she responded with same expression. 

“Yo Blake, we still heading out to your place?” One of the guys asked.

“Uh yea sure, Miller you coming?”

“What what about us?” Raven asked looking offended. “I’m not babysitting Monty’s ass.”

“Raven!” Clarke chastised. 

“I wanna go with Nate,” Monty mumbled smiling goofily at Miller. He leaned in and tried to whisper. “ _You’ll take care of me right? Not like Bell’my_ ”

“Monty we can hear you,” Bellamy grinned at his friend, Miller flushed slightly. Clarke wasn’t sure if it was because he’d been drinking or because of what Monty had said. “You girls wanna come too, you’re more than welcome.”

“No shit we wanna come,” Raven said getting up. “You got booze at your place?”

Clarke had been trying to catch Raven’s eye to stop her from agreeing to going with them. Raven went off with one of Bellamy’s friends to one of the wine booths. Clarke glanced at Bellamy and he smiled at her; smiling back at him she figured it couldn’t be so bad. 

As they’re leaving the bar Raven walks ahead with Miller, helping him support Monty as they go. Bellamy and Miller’s two other friends have one bottle of wine and Raven is carrying the other. Clarke feels less nervous about being alone with Bellamy now. The fresh air along with the liquid courage coursing through her veins encourages her. 

“I wanted to say, congrats on your post grad,” Clarke says to Bellamy. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks Princess,” he ducks his head, scratching his neck and glances up at Miller and the others. “I can’t believe I’m finally done.”

“You’ve come a long way Bellamy, you deserve it.” He smiles shyly and nods.

They walk in amiable silence for a short distance and Raven turns to yell at them to hurry up. 

“Monty you’re going with your boyfriend, you’re not throwing up in my car,” Raven says as they catch up. Miller flushes and glares at his cousin. 

“Come on Monty,” Bellamy says and takes Monty’s other shoulder. “You guys know where to go?”

“No, do I know where you live Blake,” Raven shoots at him.

“Clarke knows.”

They start their walk to Miller’s car. Clarke frowns.

“I do?” She asks Raven, who shrugs. “Bellamy what do you mean?”

“You don't remember where I live?” He asks with a smirk. “Same house, all these years.”

“The pink one?”

He smiles. “Yea, the pink one.”

Once they're out of earshot Raven shoves Clarke, giving her a knowing look. 

“What?” Raven ignores her and walks to her car doing a little dance. “Rae!”

“Nothing,” Raven sings opening her car door to get in. “Bellamy was totally checking you out all night, but the way.”

Raven gets in and Clarke runs to the car to get in as well. “You’re such a liar.”

“Am I?” Raven smirks and puts her car in reverse. “You gonna hookup tonight?”

“Raven!”

Her best friend smirks and turns on the radio, _Despacito_ is playing. Immediately it’s on full blast, Clarke’s protests drowned out as her best friend brokenly tries to sing along. Shaking her head she decides to enjoy the music instead. There’s no way her a Bellamy could ever hookup. Right? 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bellarke!  
> They are so awkward, I really hope that came across in the writing. Also, Raven is my fave; like no filter needed.  
> What'll happen at Bellamy's place? Who are his friends and how drunk is Monty really?  
> Please comment your thoughts, I have an outline of how the story is gonna go, but your feedback is alway welcome.  
> PS: Sorry if there are any spelling or grammatical errors.
> 
> -MoonymyLove


	4. This is wrong, this is wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the two week wait. I hope you enjoy...let me know.

“Rae promise me I won’t do or say anything stupid,” Clarke grabbed Raven’s arm before she could get out of her car once they reached Bellamy’s house. Miller and Bellamy were standing at the gate waiting for them. 

“Clarke what could possibly go wrong?” Raven smirked. “You gonna get some!”

Laughing Raven got out the car before Clarke could reply. Clarke groaned in frustration and got out as well, walking up next to Raven to join the guys. 

“You made it. O and Lincoln are sleeping upstairs, so we’re gonna have to be very very quiet. I’ll take you guys around back to the basement and then I’ll come lock up in the front here,” Bellamy said before he and Miller were off going around the house. 

Raven and Clarke shared a look and followed. 

“I feel like we’re robbing a house,” Clarke whispered to Raven.

“Bellamy always had a flair for the dramatics.”

Coming up to the basement door, Miller walked in and Bellamy held the door open for the girls. As Clarke entered she smiled at him, which he returned and he was off again to the front of the house. Turning around Clarke saw three of the guys from the bar sitting on couches setting up a pipe to smoke and pouring wine. Monty was passed out on the bed in the corner, Miller’s jacket draped over him. Sitting down on the corner of the couch Clarke took off her coat. 

“Could you be a dear and pour me and Clarke one too please Murphy?” Raven said collapsing down on the couch between Clarke and Miller. Murphy, who had just set the wine bottle down looked up at Raven and glared. 

“Raven I'm not your bitch.”

“No, but you’re mine,” one of the guys, with huge arms, grins and shoves Murphy. “Get the ladies a drink. Sorry about that, I’m Roan, seems you know Murphy and Sterling’s getting our pipe ready and you ladies are?”

Murphy huffs and grabs two more wine glasses glaring at him.

“Raven.”

“Clarke.” 

“Clarke...nice to meet you,” he taking her hand and kissing it, causing Raven to roll her eyes at her cousin. Clarke blushes, taking the glass Murphy hands to her.

“Thank you,” she smiled at him.

“Yea whatever,” he walked to the opposite side of the room and pulled his phone out as his friend, Sterling, finished up with the pipe. 

“Don’t mind him, he's a little shit,” Roan smirked as he comes over and sits on the coffee table right in front of Clarke and Raven. “So how do you ladies know Miller and Bellamy?”

“Miller and I are cousins and we all basically grew up together,” Raven supplies taking a sip of her wine. 

“Interesting,” Roan smiles into his wine glass, his eyes not leaving Clarke’s. Clarke smiles uncomfortably and takes a big gulp of wine.

“Uh...Miller, is Monty good?” Clarke asked leaning over Raven to ask. 

“Oh yea, he fell asleep on the way here, so Bellamy said it’d be cool if he crashes here,” Miller glances over at Monty’s sleeping figure. “He’ll probably wake up sometime soon to take a leak or throw-up.”

“It better not be to throw up,” Bellamy says as he comes down the stairs that presumably lead up into the house. “Roan get your ass of my table you dick.”

Roan smirks at Clarke, and with a wink gets up and sits on the couch next to Murphy. Bellamy goes over to the desk and opens his laptop. Soon some music is softly playing in the background. Raven gets up and joins in smoking the pipe with the boys. Clarke, feeling a little out of place glances around, everyone is surrounding the pipe but Miller, he's not partaking in smoking either. Sliding down towards him she smiles at him shyly when he glances at her.

“So Miller...”Clarke starts, he looks at her with raised eyebrows and she laughs softly. “Sorry, I don’t really know what to talk about. Are you done studying?”

“Yea, I finished with Bellamy, I did Literature,”he says looking down at his drink. 

“That’s cool. I’ve always loved Lit, any favourites?”

“You’d have to be more specific. Poets, playwrights, authors?” Miller smirks. “Not to mention, poems, novels, plays...?”

“Aah you see, I always thought they were all poets; they just had different...genres in which they expressed it,” Clarke shoots back at him and Miller laughs out loud.

“Touche,” Miller smiles, one of the first Clarke had seen since she met him recently. “I have a few favourites, but lets go with works of Literature for now. _1984_ classic, that’s my all tie favourite. _To Kill a Mockingbird_ follows, _Catcher in the Rye_...I could go on.”

“Those are all classic high school English novels too,” she laughs.

“Hey, I am a Lit professor now, so I could be teaching my favourites in high school if I want,” Miller counters.

“Yes, but wouldn't having to teach it make you hate them after a while?”

“What are you two talking about over here?” Bellamy comes over and sits in the spot next to Clarke. “Is Miller boring you with his thesis?”

“How did you know?” Clarke grins and winks at Miller. “I was just helping him go over where he could’ve done a better job.”

“He couldn’t have made it better, it was already the best,” Bellamy says laying his head down on the back of the couch, closing his eyes.

Clarke smiled, Bellamy’s loyalty to his friends and family is always what drew her to him. He gave with all his heart and didn’t care who saw it. Miller hangs his head sheepishly and downs his wine. 

“I’m gonna go check on Monty.”

“Now look what you did, you scared him off,” Clarke jokes as she watches Miller sit down next to Monty. “That was a really nice thing to say Bell.”

“Miller needs to learn to take a compliment,” Bellamy opens his eyes and looks over at Clarke. “How're you?”

“I’m good. How're you?”

“I’m great Princess,” he grins boyishly, his eyes clouding. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I'm here too,” Clarke laughs at his drunkenness.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Bellamy leans in and whispers in her ear. “You’re my favourite.”

“Bell, I’m pretty sure Octavia takes that title.”

He doesn't reply, just smiles at her shaking his head. He takes another sip of his wine, realising it's empty pours himself some more and fills hers up as well. She smiles in thanks and takes another big gulp to calm her nerves. Raven and the boys start getting a bit rowdy arguing over who's next on the pipe. 

“I think Princess is next since she hasn't gotten any yet,” Bellamy speaks up as he sets down his wine glass. “What do you say Princess?”

“Princess?” Murphy raises his eyebrows towards Sterling who shrugs his shoulders.

“Oh no, that’s ok,” Clarke shakes her head and sits up straighter. “I don’t smoke.”

Roan gives her a once over and smirks. Sterling and Murphy look disinterested. Raven takes the opportunity to grab the pipe from Roan and Bellamy grins shaking his head.

“You’re no fun,” leaning back on the couch again and looking on at the others. They all turn their attention back to the pipe, Roan winking at Clarke as he turns. 

“Uh, Bell where’s the bathroom?”

“Do you want something for a lady or do you want to just take a piss?”

“You call me Princess, what do you think?”

Smiling Bellamy gets up and leads her to the stairs. “I’m taking Clarke to the bathroom.”

Miller passes them and sits in their vacated seats, on his phone. Everyone else just ignores them, Raven however raises her eyebrows suggestively at Clarke with her smirk. Which she responds to with an eye roll.

Having been in the Blake residence in her childhood Clarke knew where to go even without Bellamy guiding her. He leaves her at the door to the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror as she washes her hands she looks beyond drunk; red eyes, hair a mess and lipstick fading. Pulling her hair out of her hair tie she tries to fix it up a bit. Walking out she's met with the dark hallway, following the light she comes to the entrance of the tv room. Bellamy's on the couch, eyes closed. She clears her throat and he opens his eyes and smiles at her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Bellamy watches as she goes over to the fire place and looks at the pictures. There's one of her, Bellamy, Octavia and Wells in the Blake pool. Picking it up for a closer look she sees Octavia on Bellamy’s shoulders smiling brightly at the camera, and he’s looking up at her grinning. Clarke is in between Bellamy and Wells, her arms around both of them grinning at Bellamy. Wells is looking at the camera sticking his tongue out. Clarke smiles. This was the summer just before she left for Polis.

“That was the last time O hung out with her boring nerdy brother,” Bellamy startles Clarke by coming up next to her. 

“I’m sure it wasn’t so bad,” Clarke smiles softly setting the frame down and turning to him, noticing how close they were.

“She let up after college, but all through high school I wasn’t even allowed to look at her,” he smiles sadly at the picture. “I guess puberty and losing mom really did take a toll on her.”

Not sure what to say Clarke takes his hand and rubs the back of it comfortingly. They stand in silence for a while before Clarke realises they're still holding hands and just staring into each other’s eyes. Pulling away she starts walking to the hallway again, Bellamy pulls her back with an expression she can't read on his face.

“What?” she questions with a nervous laugh quietly.

“...nothing,” Bellamy shakes his head and loosens his grip on her hand.

She turns back around and just before her hand has left his he pulls her back with more force; turning around she sees his eyes close just before his mouth is on hers. Not sure how it was happening or why, Clarke responds to the kiss. It starts out as a firm peck but as she responds it becomes a feverish, passionate kiss. His tongue demands access and she opens up for him with a low moan in the back of her throat. Her arms draw themselves around his back and up his neck, pulling him in for more. He responds by pulling her in around her waist. She moans one more time and he groans in response. When he pulls back they stand in silence staring into each others' eyes; she sees desire in his eyes and is sure hers say the same.

Slowly he takes her hand in his and leads her down the hallway to what she assumes his bedroom now. The lamp is the only light in the room as he shuts the door behind him, locking it as he guides Clarke onto the bed. They're kissing before she can second guess anything but one thought is going through her mind _this is wrong, this is wrong_. Just as she's about to push him off he trails kisses down her neck and slips his hand in her pants. She lets out a deep moan as he fingers enter her. Arching her back she pulls his head up so she can show him her desire by kissing him; he thrusts his fingers in faster and his hips started grinding into her leg. She lets out another moan, disconnecting their lips; he kisses her neck. Something catches Clarke’s eye. A picture. _Gina._

“Bellamy...Bellamy,” Clarke starts to push him off, he responds by thrusting his fingers in deeper and she moans. Finally she pushes him off completely making him fall off the bed. “Stop!”

“What the...?” Bellamy started looking shocked. "Clarke...I..."

“This is...this is wrong,” Clarke says not looking at him, pulling her clothes together she sits up in the bed and notices more pictures of Bellamy and Gina around the room. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“I...uh...yea you’re right,” Bellamy sighs, getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed, farthest away from her. “God...I’m sorry Clarke.”

“No...I’m sorry, I shouldn't have. It was...I’m sorry,” Clarke stumbles out, tears starting to form as she speaks. “Let’s...let’s just pretend it never happened.”

“I...are you sure?”

“Bellamy.”

Not wanting him to see her heartbreak at the thought she turns her head completely away from him.

“Right...no you’re right. I’m...I'm sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Clarke wipes at her eyes and stands up.

“Clarke...please, please don't cry,” Bellamy sinks into himself, his head in his hands. “God, I’m an asshole.”

“Bell...it’s ok. Let’s just...let’s go before they start wondering where we went off to,” avoiding his eyes she unlocks the door.

“Clarke, I really am sorry.”

“I know. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I know, I'm terrible.  
> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter so far...I might edit it down the line. But for now this is it.  
> Please let me know what you think. Any feedback is welcome.  
> Thank you!
> 
> -MoonyMyLove


	5. How'd you sleep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a lot of feelings about what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating in like 3 months (what?). I will try to post more often from now on, I have way more time on my hands now and since I have an outline for how it's going to go it won't take too long.   
> I hope you enjoy this on, it was fun to write.

“Look Clarke...I---”

“Bell it’s fine. Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen. Okay?”

Bellamy stares at Clarke with a hurt look for a second then he nods and smiles sheepishly. “Yea sure, if you want.”

“Yes I want.”

Clarke turns back down the hallway toward the basement stairs feeling the tears threaten to come again. She feels Bellamy’s hand on her wrist and it stops her. This time, she doesn’t turn to face him.

“I just...you should know that you’ve always been special to me Princess. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

Clarke turns to face Bellamy, he’s looking down at their hands. She takes his chin and pulls it up and smiles at him shyly. 

“I know Bell, you too. I’ve always wanted it to be you.”

With that Clarke turns and separates herself from Bellamy completely. When she reaches the door she sees Bellamy is still standing where she left him; he looks up and walks over to her.

“Shall we?”

As Clarke goes down stairs she’s very aware of Bellamy behind her and everyone in the basement who turn to look at them. Clarke notices Murphy and his friend, Sterling, aren't there anymore. Composing herself she goes over to Raven and Miller and sits down, sharing a small look with Bellamy as he sits down with Roan at the pipe.

“What took you so long?” Raven asks.

“We...uh...I needed water and then---”

“Princess talked my ear off about Polis and then we reminisced over some pictures I have up at the fireplace,” Bellamy says nonchalantly handing Roan the pipe and grabbing his wine glass. 

“Yea...”Clarke agrees, taking a big gulp of her wine and avoiding eye contact with Raven and Bellamy. 

“Well you missed Monty moaning Miller’s name in his sleep,” Raven laughs making Miller blush. He shakes his head and smacks her leg.

“He wasn’t moa---” 

“Come on Miller, he was practically orgasming,” Roan smirks looking at Clarke, who responds with a blush of her own making Raven frown.

“Hey, leave him alone. I’m sure Monty wasn’t moaning,” Bellamy scolds.

“Thank you,” Miller sighs.

“I mean, not as much as Miller does his name anyway,” Bellamy grins, Miller throws a magazine at him, which he quickly dodges. “I’m only speaking truths here Miller.”

“Fuck you.”

“As entertaining as this is, we gotta head out C,” Raven gets up and nudges Clarke’s legs.

“Uh...yea you’re right,” Clarke says getting up and grabbing her coat as quickly as possible. 

“Bellamy it’s been real, Cuz I’ll see you. Roan, until next time,” Raven greets heading for the exit. Roan and Miller each respond in kind, Bellamy gets up and gives her hug.

“Clarke, it’s been a pleasure, hope to see you again soon,” Roan takes her hand and kisses it, smirking at her flushed cheeks. 

“You too, uh thanks.”

Bellamy clears his throat as he opens the door for them, frowning. “Great seeing you, Princess," he says to Clarke, giving her a hug. She smiles and nods in agreement, avoiding his eyes.

“No need to walk us out Bellamy, we’ll remember the way,” Raven smirks. 

“Bye guys,” Clarke manages to get out before Raven swings the door shut and drags her toward the front of the house. “Jesus Rae, why’re you in such a rush?”

“Because you’re not, and I wanna know why.” They turn onto the pathway towards the front gate of the house. As they cross the street to Raven’s car Clarke sighs in dreaded anticipation. 

“Well?”

“Rae...”

“Clarke spit it out. What happened?” Raven grunts in frustration.

“Rae, I promise I’ll tell you just please drive,” Clarke pleads looking out the window. 

Once they’ve been driving for five minutes Clarke realises she needs to start talking. Raven has been surprisingly quiet only glancing at her when traffic permits. She knows Raven was getting anxious to know if her suspicions are correct. When they reach a red light she turns to Raven with a sigh. 

“Ok I'm just gonna say this once, don't make me say it again, please.”

Raven looks at her with worry, “Ok.”

“We hooked up, like heavy hooked up. I mean, I don’t even know how it happened, one minute we’re laughing about a picture and the next his tongue is down my throat and we’re on his bed. It was a lot to handle. I stopped it before it could go any further...but Rae, it almost did.”

Before Raven can respond a car honks from behind them. Swearing under her breathe Raven resumes driving, trying to figure out her response. Clarke sighs as they turn into Raven’s neighbourhood.

“So...how much further?” She finally asks glancing at Clarke. “Like second base...all the way?”

Clarke puts her face in her hands and moans in frustration. “I’m such a bad person. I can’t believe I did this.”

“Clarke stop, you’re not a bad person.”

“I am. He has a girlfriend. God...he has a girlfriend and I’m...”

“You're...?”

“I’m a piece of shit. I’m so fucking happy we finally hooked up, God...I’m elated even. How can I feel so happy about doing something so terrible? What kind of person does that? Don’t get me wrong, I feel like shit. But I’m...I don’t know.” Tears slowly start to fall down Clarke’s face. She turns her head facing out the window. “Let’s just...I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

Raven nods and drives on. Clarke’s turmoil doesn’t let up once they get to Raven’s apartment. She fears it never will.

*

When Clarke wakes up all she really wants is fresh air and to be showered in cold water. Getting up off Raven’s bed she searches for her phone to check the time. Finding it off in her purse she quickly puts it in the charger next to the bed and sneaks out the room. 

Sitting out on the fire escape the previous night’s events start to hit her, piece by piece. Bellamy’s hands on her body, his hips grinding into her--- Shaking her head Clarke sighs. _God, I’m such a fucking idiot._ Wanting to get her mind off things she heads back inside to watch something. 

“How’d you sleep?”

“ _Fuck,_ ” Clarke mutters as she turns to see Raven walking sleepily from the kitchen. “Like shit...you?”

“Like a dream.”

Rolling her eyes Clarke takes the water Raven offers her and takes one big gulp. Glancing at Raven she shakes her head and sets the glass down on the coffee table as she leans back on the couch staring up at the ceiling. She knows she’s going to have to talk, Raven’s been more than patient.  Memories of the night before were coming back to her in flashes over and over again.

“Look Clarke, I’m not...I would never judge you. Don’t beat yourself up about something that happened in the heat of the moment,” Raven comes over and sits next to Clarke, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “You’re my best friend, you’re gonna be ok.”

Clarke can’t bring herself to respond. She pulls Raven’s hand in to her chest and curls into Raven’s side, her head on her shoulder as tears start to roll down her face. Her mind keeps flashing back to the night before, Bellamy’s lips on hers, his hands on---

“I know I didn't say much last night---”

“You didn't say anything, not really,” Raven cuts her off. “Look, you don't have to say anything else, I’ll use my imagination. I’ll just ask, you didn’t have sex right?”

“ _Jesus_ , no! God, no...he just...” Sitting up, Clarke blushes. “He fingered me, but before it could even go any further I stopped him. I saw a picture of Gina, and I just...I realised how wrong it was, what we were doing.”

“Damn.”

“Yea...”

The silence that follows reminds Clarke of the conversation she had with Bellamy after the fact. Groaning she lies back on the couch, staring out the window.

“Rae...I told him...I told him---"

“Told him what?”

“That I’d always wanted it to be him, that’s basically a confession right? Now he’s gonna think I’m in love with him and... I don’t know,”shaking her head Clarke sits up and takes another gulp of water. “I should just go back to Polis.”

“C, he won't think that, and even if he does so what? Don’t worry too much about that right now,” Raven shoots back.

“He has a girlfriend.”

Clarke sighs and fresh tears start to form, when she looks over at Raven they both know what the other is thinking; they know what it’s like to be cheated on. They’ve been friends for over 20 years, but the one rift in their relationship was caused by a boy dating them at the same time. Raven had moved in 9th grade and had gone to a different school, that year Clarke and Raven saw less of each other and shared even less with each other. When they discovered their boyfriend, Finn Collins, was also the others’ boyfriend their friendship was almost over. Clarke’s family moving to Polis the next year was the factor that healed their friendship. But neither girl ever got over that pain and betrayal caused by Finn.

“Clarke---”

“No Rae, I’m a horrible person. We both know what it feels like, what that betrayal is; now I’m gonna be the cause for another girl, _again_.” Clarke gets up and goes into Raven’s room. 

“It’s not just on you, you know! It takes two to tango.” Raven yells and after a few seconds realises Clarke isn’t going to respond. 

She sighs and heads into the kitchen to get herself some fresh coffee. Yes, she knows what happened last night wasn’t great, but it seems like it was inevitable. Clarke and Bellamy. It always has been. Clarke has been in love with Bellamy since kindergarten, their love story was bound to take flight. Knowing this, she can’t help but feel like Clarke shouldn’t be too hard on herself. 

“Rae?” She turns and Clarke is standing in the kitchen doorway staring at her phone.

“Yeah?”

“He texted me.” She looks up at Raven wide-eyed and Raven rushes over to look.

**Bell** 01:21  _You ok?_

“This was last night?”

“Yea, I guess he sent it after we left, but my phone died and I put it in the charger when I woke up. What do I do?”

Raven shakes her head and shrugs. “I don't know.”

“I should reply right? He’ll worry if I don't.”

Clarke bites her lip and leans on the counter staring down at her phone with a frown. Raven goes back to her coffee and leans on the counter next to her.

“Ok, so?”

“What?” 

“So text him, duh.” Raven rolls her eyes and Clarke laughs and nods turning back to her phone.

**Clarke** 09:14  _Sorry I’m only texting back now. I’m ok. You?_

“Really, _‘Sorry I’m only texting back now’_?” Exasperated, Raven takes the phone from her.

“What was I supposed to say, I don’t want him to think I ignored him,” Clarke exclaims.

“He wouldn’t think that, cause he can see when you read the message,” is the response she gets.

“Well I don’t know...I don’t know texting code apparently. Besides---”

Her phone chimes. Both Raven and Clarke stare at the phone in Raven’s hands; Clarke’s eyes wide with fear. 

“Who is it?”

Raven turns the phone and shows Clarke. **_Bell_**. Taking the phone from her Clarke opens the message.

**Bell** 09:16  _Yup_

“God, you’re both fucking incompetent texters.”

“Shut up. What do I say now?”

“I don’t know, nothing.” Raven shrugs as she leaves the kitchen and goes over to the her couch. “Leave some mystery.”

“Rae, he's typing,” Clarke rushes out and jumps onto the couch just as Raven turns the tv on. 

**Bell** 09:17  _What time should I get you?_

“Oh fuck.”

Raven grabs the phone from Clarke and reads the text. “Oh shit.”

Clarke is lying on the couch, her hands over her face as she groans. Raven sets her phone down. 

“Fuck, I completely forgot. I can’t do this. I can’t see him today, not ever.”

“C, calm down. Look, you don’t have to go, but if you don’t you can’t set the record straight or hear what he has to say for cheating on her girlfriend.”

Clarke sits up and looks into Raven’s eyes, smiling sadly. “You’re right, I have to do this.”

Raven nods and hands her her phone. “Just tell him 1ish is good.”

**Clarke** 09:20  _1ish is good._

“Alright, now let’s watch _Real Housewives of Azgeda_ to get your mind off this.” Clarke laughs and curls up under the blanket with Raven.

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry no Bellamy, but next chapter definitely.   
> Let me know what you think of this one.
> 
> -MoonymyLove

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this for months now, finally sat down and started it.  
> This is gonna be slow burn, Bellamy might make an actual appearance in chapter 2; maybe only 3. But please, please keep reading. Also, I'm pretty amateur, sorry for any mistakes or if it seems choppy; I'm learning. Please Review. 
> 
> Thanks,  
> MoonymyLove


End file.
